Category: USUC Funnies
Happy Valentines Day
Flipher
Gotcha!!
Brazilian
Prostitute logic
A doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, “Do you know who the father of this child is?” She quickly replied, “For goodness sakes, if you ate a can of beans, would you know which one made you fart?” Share, you know you want to
Share, you know you want to
Barber shop
Bob stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” Bob left. A few days later, Bob stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I…
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Navy Memo
Memo:The Department of the Navy The Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private “OFF LIMITS” area on all aircraft carriers. While addressing all personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, “Female sleeping quarters will be “out-of-bounds” for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule…
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Tattle parrot
Mating
My wife and I went to the Calgary Bull Sale & Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, ‘THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR’ My wife…
Share, you know you want to
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Happy Valentines Day
Flipher
Gotcha!!
Brazilian
Prostitute logic
A doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, “Do you know who the father of this child is?” She quickly replied, “For goodness sakes, if you ate a can of beans, would you know which one made you fart?” Share, you know you want to
Share, you know you want to
Barber shop
Bob stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” Bob left. A few days later, Bob stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I…
Share, you know you want to
Navy Memo
Memo:The Department of the Navy The Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private “OFF LIMITS” area on all aircraft carriers. While addressing all personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, “Female sleeping quarters will be “out-of-bounds” for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule…
Share, you know you want to
Tattle parrot
Mating
My wife and I went to the Calgary Bull Sale & Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, ‘THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR’ My wife…
Share, you know you want to